Let us think of patients who are ill with tuberculosis.

"The physicians put them out in the sunlight and fresh air, both in summer and in winter. There they lie until a cure is gradually effected by the rays of the sun. The recovery of these patients is not dependents upon their thinking, in the sense of understanding the effect of the sun's rays or how these rays work. Neither does their recovery depend upon the feelings they experience during the rest cure.
"Nor does it depend upon their wills in the sense of exerting themselves to will to become well.
On the contrary, the treatment is most successful if the patients lie very quietly and are passive, exerting neither their intellects nor their wills. It is the sun which effects the cure. All the patients need to do is to be in the sun.
"Prayer is just as simple.
"We are all saturated with the pernicious virus of sin; every one of us is a tubercular patient doomed to die! But 'the sun of righteousness with healing in its wings has arisen.' All that is required of us, if we desire to be healed both for time and for eternity, is to let the Son of righteousness reach us, and then to abide in the sunlight of His righteousness."

"Prayer" by O. Hallesby

I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else but you

If you were a river in the mountains tall,
The rumble of your water would be my call.
If you were the winter, I know I'd be the snow
As long as you were with me, let the cold wind blow.

the roses of the day grow deep.

i think my feet left the ground today.
it could have been the coffee
and sugar, but i highly doubt it.

HB to me.

two days ago i celebrated my 24 1/3 birthday. i made a wish and it came true. O frabjous day! What wonderful blessings the Lord gives!

i came to understand more about the notion of how God causes all things to work together for good to those who love Him. though i experience things that i would call evil, stepping emotionally into those hard times and maturely ask God what the deuce He was trying to do teach me or show me through that experience will allow God to change something that was evil into a positively good thing. and through those lessons i will now how to act if anything as hurtful ever shows its ugly head.
does that not make any sense? if i had more sleep i'd probably write in clearer syntax.

thank God for older brothers. thank God for lovely friends.

my weakness again.

There was a booming that night
Louder than water-covered footsteps,
Stronger than the white-knuckled grip of chains,
Higher than the thoughts of the soaring moon,
Cleaner than an overturned ceiling,
Faster than the blood racing through my body, yet
Weaker than the sighs coming from my heart,
Fainter than the lies i tell myself,
Rougher than the shape i trace across my frame,
Poorer than the ticking of the clock, as
I walk in self-doubting joy.

Bike Messengers Are on Crack

this.

this is the video that sent me out on my bike. this is the video that sent my bike to me from New York.

her name in japanese is Kyou, which means cooperation. her name meant other things like village and apricot, but i'm not sure why i would call a bike apricot. ginger i would understand, but apricot?

bon iver

...is good music and you should listen to it.

Today i sat at my usual summer haunt, but spring tapped me on the shoulder halfway through my second chapter as if to say See that shivering? you cannot be out here yet. go home and be healthy and warm.

i look forward to the changing of spring into summer, knowing that fall will be next followed by winter, which will result in spring and yet another summer. i find such habits extremely comforting. for example, today i went to get my illinois driver's license at some usual office where they do such things, and after being severely agitated and put on edge by the walls of politics and schmoozing that goes on in a place like that, i sat and thought about summer.

the intense feelings of agitation had gone and i was left with this wonderful, childlike feeling of expectance. summer! now is the time to start anew and to try things again!

this is why i love mornings. why i love every morning--no matter the weather or mood i am in. because mornings mean a chance to start fresh and with renewed purpose.